My life has changed since I reflected on this. For a while, he let me go through life , instead of driving my helm; I dedicated my time to work many hours, to be able to pay my home mortgage. He never said no to a job, he left home at 7 in the morning and did not arrive until 12 at night, linking a job with another, eating a snack in the car. I told myself that it was so that my daughter was not lacking anything, but my daughter lacked her mother . The relationship with my partner made water and I barely saw my family and friends.
Perhaps in your case it is not work. Maybe you spend your time sitting on the couch watching TV or surfing the Internet. Maybe you go out with friends that take away your energy and are no longer such friends. Maybe you have been thinking about your love for a long time, but you’re still with her. Maybe you spend your money on furnishing your home with great detail, and then it doesn’t get to make the trip of your dreams. Maybe you don’t focus your life on what’s really important to you.
Make a list of the 4-5 things that are most important to you . They don’t have to be the same for everyone: what is important to you may not be the same for me.
To make this list it will help you to imagine that you are on your deathbed . Imagine your heart, about to stop. Imagine your life, going through your mind quickly. You know you don’t have one more day, not another minute. Ask yourself these questions:
- What did you do for your time ? What would you like to have dedicated it to?
- What people were you with? What people would you like to have been with?
- What things did you do just to meet the expectations of others?
- What dreams did you have that have not come true? Why have they not been fulfilled?
- What was it that made you happier ?
- What would you like to have said you didn’t say ?
- Who would you have liked not to lose touch with ? Why?
- What are you satisfied with ?
- What did you spend your money on ? What should you have spent it on?
These questions can help you make the most important list in your life. Do not hurry to do it, it is not something that can be decided lightly.
My list: the most important thing in my life
This is my list, which I have modified over time. The 4 are a bit interrelated:
- My personal relationships: My life is meaningless without my loved ones: my partner, children, my family; my friends, the closest and the furthest; the people around me and who loves me. Investing my time in them is the best decision I make every day. There is a phrase from the movie ” Towards Wild Routes “
that I love and sums it up: “Happiness is only real when it is shared . “
- Health: Unfortunately, most of us only realize the importance of health when it is gone. Or at least it happened to me. Now I put a lot of focus on taking care of myself: eating well, sleeping, being active, having peace of mind … If we want to live for a long time with the mind and body that can take us where we want, we must take care of our health.
- Have a positive image of myself: How we see ourselves is the basis on which our life is built. When we don’t have a positive self-image we compare ourselves with other people, we feel insecure and we are too sensitive to the opinions of others. We also tend to make decisions based on people’s expectations instead of doing what really makes us feel good. Having a positive self-image, on the other hand, means accepting ourselves for who we are and what we believe; It means having the courage to make our own decisions and live the life we want. Not long ago I realized that I have lived almost all my life without having a good vision of myself. I still have areas to improve on, but I am no longer afraid to say the things I believe through the judgment of others.
- My values, my purpose and my dreams: Defining what I am here for and what my fundamental values are like seeing a lighthouse in the middle of the night. They help me become aware that my thoughts and behaviors and align them with the type of person I want to be, help me make better decisions. Dreams are things that I want to experience in my life. I like to pursue my dreams and dream a little every day.
What to do with the list?
Making the list is of no use if you don’t take action . Reflect on your life and what changes you have to make in it so that it is focused on the most important. Don’t leave it anymore: every day is not one more day, it is one less day . Take advantage of the time focusing on the most important thing in life.